Can We Be Prepared for Loss

From the Desk of RD

The Reality of Grief – Can We Be Prepared for Loss

I read messages from so many who continue to grieve loved ones, some still years after the loss, and we wonder why grief is so painful. We never learn to handle this part of our life. We never learn how to relinquish our attachment to our loved ones.

When we lose a loved one, whether it is sudden or due to a terminal illness where we are expected to be prepared for the loss, we still never fully prepare. We all live in hope for that one miracle that will save them or bring them back to us.

Grief can be described in many ways, and for me, it is a gut-wrenching pain where you know there is no medication that can take it away. You feel a numbness within yourself as you wake up in the morning, realizing that your loved one is no more. You try to relive the memories by doing things they loved, hoping to get some relief, but then guilt takes over where your inner consciousness questions why you are smiling. If it is your parents, you reach out to make that call you used to do and now the phone rings with no answer. If it is your child, you wish you could turn the clock back and start their life again differently. If it is your spouse or partner, you wonder how you will continue to complete all the activities you had planned to do together.

We spend one-third of our lives going to school, learning about every possible thing but we never learn how to handle the most traumatic times that we will inevitably face.
I know eventually, we will all graduate from this gut-wrenching pain to a better coping mechanism. They say time is a healer, but time cannot heal grief. It simply numbs it to the point where you accept the numbness and try to cope better. I know I can reorganize myself to accept the loss and try to move forward, knowing that our loved ones are all in a better place. What else can we say to console the pain!