Navigating Grief – The 4 Cs

From the Desk of RD

The Reality of Grief – Navigating Grief: The 4 C’s

In my journey through grief and my extensive reading on how to manage this painful experience, I came across the 3 C’s – Choose, Connect, Communicate.

• Choose what is best for you.
• Connect with those who provide the support you need.
• Communicate openly without fear of judgment.

However, I believe there’s a fourth “C” that’s equally important: Companionship. This is crucial. But not just any companion will do. Just as we carefully select the company we keep, we must also choose companions who truly understand our pain and can support us through this difficult journey.

Companionship isn’t about finding someone who will analyze or fix your pain. It’s about having someone who will be an active listener. This is a friend who is nonjudgmental, who listens and appreciates your pain, and who celebrates the life of your loved one. Avoid those who make insensitive remarks like, “It’s time to stop grieving now,” “Enough crying, it won’t bring him back,” or “We all will die someday.” Instead, choose a companion who will truly be present and supportive.

Unfortunately, many cultures dictate how one should grieve, especially women who lose their partners or spouses. In some traditions, such as Indian culture, widows are expected to stay home, wear white, and give up their previous life entirely. Women who adhere to these rituals are often more respected than those who seek to heal in their own way. Society’s expectations can be misleading and unhelpful to the grieving individual. We must ignore societal pressures and choose our own path to life after loss.

For those who grieve, don’t grieve alone. By expressing your emotions, you will become more connected to your deeper self and facilitate healing. Don’t deny your pain. Embrace it, and you will become more responsive to your own needs.