Taking Life For Granted
From the Desk of RD
The Reality of Grief – Taking Life for Granted
We often take life for granted until one day, we wake up to the harsh reality of brewing just one cup of coffee and making breakfast for ourselves. If we’re lucky, we might have a pet to talk to, or we find ourselves talking to the walls. The debilitating feeling of being entirely alone and incomplete after losing your spouse, partner, and best friend is beyond painful and disconcerting.
How often do we stop to consider that there’s a 50/50 chance of waking up to this reality? We take life for granted until a tornado hits our home. The last 27 years flew by with Gill’s delicious culinary creations filling our home with wonderful aromas, and his playful banter at the door as he asked about my day. We lived and worked together, making it even harder to lose not just a life partner , the father of my kids, but a business partner as well.
My last 10 weeks may seem busy, but they have been empty. This unfamiliar world of loneliness, now devoid of him, Mom, and Dad, makes one feel utterly lost. I miss Dad’s scolding about my vitamin intake, Mom’s voice asking when I’ll be home, and Baldi’s compliments on my new lipstick. These little conversations we took for granted are now deeply yearned for.
I’ve learned something crucial that I hope everyone grieving a loss will recognize: it is essential to express how you feel. Share your feelings of loneliness, anger, and loss, because this is a vital part of the healing process. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are being morbid or sad. Life will never be “normal” for us again, and we have our own timelines for processing loss.
For those who lose a spouse, roles suddenly shift from being part of a couple to being alone. You have to make many decisions on your own now. Change happens from within, so do whatever it takes to build yourself up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Focus on your emotional health, as it will be your stairway to building a new normal. However, as you relinquish your old role and establish your new norm, you will find the confidence within yourself to be able to become a more stronger you. You will be able to talk about your loss with little less pain, and enjoy a few things with the painful memories of your loved one. Healing is reaffirmed, it is a journey of working on yourself every day.
